Pain, Desire and Safety
In a conversation last night with Pascal Pinck I talked about the mentoring offer I’m working on. I mentioned the pattern of serendipitous conversations where change actually happens. His summary blew me away: “Oh, you mean, change happens when pain, desire and safety meet?”
Yes. That is true.
Change may happen when Pain and Desire meet Safety.
Safety on Demand
Nice concept: Remote mentoring is safety on demand. I talked to a potential client yesterday and he loved the on-demand help I was offering. For big changes, the setup and budgeting and planning and waiting is ok. For small to medium and urgent changes, the waiting is not ok. Having a number to call to get external help, an external perspective, guidance, or advice, could be very helpful and minimise risk.
The different kinds of help we discussed made me think about what’s really essential. Essential for this remote support to be valuable and essential for this service to be unique, to become my own. I noticed there’s more to it than just safety, and expertise.
I pay exquisite attention.
Attention on Demand
I will relabel my mentoring offer. From now on it’s called Exquisite Attention.
The reasoning is two-fold:
- It just states exactly what I offer, no more or less. It gives you the choice how you want to use my attention. Attention has no presupposition that I know something you don’t, that I’m advanced in any way. It doesn’t presuppose that you need help. And it does give you the best possible context to ask for it. Attention is a non-dual concept.
- Exquisite Attention is valuable, and potentially worth paying for. I can pay exquisite attention to a friend, and we can pay exquisite attention to one another. Attention is a gift economy concept.
Please help me developing this further by answering this question in a comment:
If I offered you Exquisite Attention, what would you use it for?