People Like Us

Posted by on Jun 17, 2012 in Community, Magnificence | 11 Comments

Some people—few people—have a sensibility of others
that is more than
gradually higher than the average.

We sense other people’s feelings and group relations faster than others,
often before those people sense and realise for themselves.
And our sense is not only faster, it’s deeper, more accurate as well.

We learn early in life not to boast this feature of ours.
We might even be irritated by it,
because each of us has been punished in some way or the other for using this gift
(and then speaking her mind).
People notice us. We stand out from the crowd (even though we try not to),
for two reasons:
We listen.
We care.
The experience of someone actually listening to and caring for them is unusual for most people.
They are attracted by it.
If you’re a women, chances are you’ve been misattributing this attraction to sex
—and the male sitting across you might have too.

But this is different.
To meet someone (say, on a train) who not only talks with you and looks at you,
but actually listens to what you do (and do not) say and watches you,
really sees you as you are, is an outstanding experience.
You have this listening and sensing gift.
Are you proud of it?
Maybe not – because it’s quite normal to you and you’ve had it working against you in the past.
Most people can’t handle honest feedback.

But we do.
We actually crave it.
We need people like us to get it from.
The problem is, how to identify people like us.
Because of past experiences we tend to crouch down and hide in the insensible crowd.
That way, we still sense, watch and listen, but we dampen our feedback.
We don’t stand out, and we don’t notice people like us.

So straighten up!
Stand tall, proud, and make yourself visible!
Look above the crowd to see others like yourself.
You probably noticed similar people before.
You noticed them because they felt grounded, more present, more in-the-moment than the rest.
They struck you as interesting, maybe as attractive, but you didn’t see them as similar.
You might even have felt intimidated (as others surely have been by you).

But as soon as you stand up, proudly,
and let your amazing self be recognised by them as a peer,
you’ll see them stand out from the crowd and really see you just as you do
really see them.
Just leave your comfort zone and really, sincerely, get up!
Let yourself be seen.

It’s an amazing experience.
You will love it.
And you might love the people like us.

(I wrote this text quite a while ago, for a friend in distress. I have shared it privately with some people. Thank you, Venessa Miemis, for nudging me to post it.)

11 Comments

  1. Gitte Klitgaard (@NativeWired)
    2012/06/17

    It is hard..
    Makes us doubt ourselves, hide it (even to our self), and not daring to believe it could be so..

    And scared to believe that it could be..

    And still I am not sure :)

  2. Paul Ingalls
    2012/06/18

    Empathy is so powerful. At times a gift, and at times a curse. Finding people willing to practice it with you would be amazing…

  3. venessa miemis
    2012/06/18

    beautiful poem, olaf :)

    it really resonated with me. when i allow myself to be ‘natural,’ i’m engaged, curious and open/vulnerable. sometimes people are taken aback by it because, as you said, we’re often not given the gift of someone else’s full attention. the behavior may be misinterpreted as meaning something else (what do they want from me? are they trying to manipulate me? is this a sexual advance?). but, i think it matters to be brave and show genuine care for people by acknowledging they exist, they have gifts to offer, and have a range of human desires and fears, just like we do. it brings us closer together as a humanity to realize this.

    - venessa

  4. People Like Us « emergent by design
    2012/06/18

    [...] is a cross-post from the blog of Olaf [...]

  5. Jay Collier
    2012/06/18

    Thank you for writing this, Olaf, and Vanessa, for reposting. Beautiful.

  6. Christine Capra
    2012/06/18

    Lovely – and so true! Thanks to you both!

  7. Ece Utkucan Anderson
    2012/06/19

    Olaf,

    What you are describing here is gradually becoming an obsession of mine :) I think of it most of the time… How do we gather “the people like us”?

    Very much inspired by Venessa Miemis and some others, I have (very) recently started my own blog, as an urge to what you are describing in your poem: “Get up, and start sharing… your experience is valuable… and there are many more People like us….”

    As we move into more and more critical times on Earth, more and more people are sensing something is off… It is my understanding that many of them are quietly watching. So it seems to be of outmost importance that we find each other and expand a Global Conversation about our own transformations into our own higher versions, doing the Caring Work that is most needed now.

  8. Poem by Vanessa Miemis and Olaf Lewitz « Creating a Digital Footprint
    2012/06/19

    [...] is a cross-post from the blog of Olaf [...]

  9. People Like Us | Innovatus | Scoop.it
    2012/07/16

    [...] by Pintolaranja initActionsBarHover("2166740602"); hhgttg.de – June 28, 3:26 PM [...]

  10. Jake Calabrese
    2013/08/14

    Excellent… this makes me consider even more, the implications of preferring the relationship channel (channels as in auditory, visual, etc.). Finding people is so important and valuable! Thanks for this!

  11. Olaf
    2013/08/14

    You’re welcome:-)

Leave a Reply

WP-SpamFree by Pole Position Marketing

%d bloggers like this: