People Like Us
Some people—few people—have a sensibility of others
that is more than
gradually higher than the average.
We sense other people’s feelings and group relations faster than others,
often before those people sense and realise for themselves.
And our sense is not only faster, it’s deeper, more accurate as well.
We learn early in life not to boast this feature of ours.
We might even be irritated by it,
because each of us has been punished in some way or the other for using this gift
(and then speaking her mind).
People notice us. We stand out from the crowd (even though we try not to),
for two reasons:
The experience of someone actually listening to and caring for them is unusual for most people.
They are attracted by it.
If you’re a women, chances are you’ve been misattributing this attraction to sex
—and the male sitting across you might have too.
But this is different.
To meet someone (say, on a train) who not only talks with you and looks at you,
but actually listens to what you do (and do not) say and watches you,
really sees you as you are, is an outstanding experience.
You have this listening and sensing gift.
Are you proud of it?
Maybe not – because it’s quite normal to you and you’ve had it working against you in the past.
Most people can’t handle honest feedback.
But we do.
We actually crave it.
We need people like us to get it from.
The problem is, how to identify people like us.
Because of past experiences we tend to crouch down and hide in the insensible crowd.
That way, we still sense, watch and listen, but we dampen our feedback.
We don’t stand out, and we don’t notice people like us.
So straighten up!
Stand tall, proud, and make yourself visible!
Look above the crowd to see others like yourself.
You probably noticed similar people before.
You noticed them because they felt grounded, more present, more in-the-moment than the rest.
They struck you as interesting, maybe as attractive, but you didn’t see them as similar.
You might even have felt intimidated (as others surely have been by you).
But as soon as you stand up, proudly,
and let your amazing self be recognised by them as a peer,
you’ll see them stand out from the crowd and really see you just as you do
really see them.
Just leave your comfort zone and really, sincerely, get up!
Let yourself be seen.
It’s an amazing experience.
You will love it.
And you might love the people like us.
(I wrote this text quite a while ago, for a friend in distress. I have shared it privately with some people. Thank you, Venessa Miemis, for nudging me to post it.)